Tuesday, May 1, 2012

we have the choice to be happy [From 19 MAR 12]

We had zone conference on Thursday. It was great as usual! They talked a lot about forming spiritual relationships with the members and with our investigators, but especially with the members. We also discussed this time as the defining point in our lives that we need to decide how we want the mission to change us. As well as choice, that we have the choice to be happy and turn to the Lord. It was so good!! I don't have my notes with me but it was so good!

Also one of our investigators is progressing so well. We stopped by and she said she had read. She has had difficulty reading and praying but the time before we invited her to read and pray daily. She said she is starting to try and she feels good when she does. She said she wants to feel that way all the time. We have yet to explain to her about the Gift of the Holy Ghost because we got distracted with some of her other questions. But I can see the difference in her. Her eyes are livelier and she smiles more easily and frequently. And she came to church without a reminder. The one sad thing is she might be moving. So we're praying hard that she doesn't have to.

Here is a photo of Hermana Osorio and I waiting for our car to be fixed. Here’s the story… As we filled the tires with air we found a nail in one tire. So we called Elder Neuenschwander. He told us where to go the next day to get it fixed because it was too late that day. So we continued on our way. That night we had a member with us and we were stopping by an investigator's house. Hermana Osorio was helping me back up and heard air coming out of the tire. The nail had moved and was letting air out. We tried calling the elders in the area but they didn’t answer. We tried a member that lived nearby; no answer. We were trying to see if we could fix it ourselves when a man walked by and we asked for help. He willingly obliged and got down on the ground. He was very helpful and we were grateful. The spare was put on and we went on. So the next morning we went to the shop and they fixed it for us. So the picture is us studying at the car shop while our car got fixed. It was all very exciting and quite an adventure. :)

So remember I told you about my headaches and stomach aches. Well I finally called the mission nurse and explained all that I was feeling. She told me it was anxiety, that my stomachaches and all the nausea and dizziness is a result of me being anxious about my headaches. So to cure the stomach aches I’ve been eating yogurt every day and telling myself not to worry. Which is far easier said than done. My headaches have not lessened but I’m just telling myself to not worry. Not worry about my health or any other thing that I worry about. I’m telling myself to let it all go. Honestly it's hard. With the headaches it's so hard for me to work and focus. I want so much to give my all to the Lord and the people of Novato and our members. I want so much not to have my mind wander/daydream. This week has been good and tough all at once. Good because I know I’m trying, but rough because I want to give more. Rough because most of the time I struggle with wanting to close my eyes and sleep. It’s only been this past week, well more so this week than others. I’m trying to learn how to take care of myself. To not let the thoughts or comments of others bother me or worry about what they think. So my sleep this week has been okay. Over the past week we haven’t been to bed on time. And the week before it was hard to fall asleep as well as this week. So my energy is down a bit. It’s been a struggle to get up in the morning. I’ve almost fallen asleep in a couple lessons this week. Although I think that was partly because I was taking Motrin for my headache. So it's a balance between having a pounding headache/migraine or heavy eyes and being tired. I think my anxiety came from fears of Lyme coming back. I don’t' want it back and I don't want to get so sick that I have to come home early. It’s such a hard balance.

I am happy though. The members and our investigators make it all worth it. I love seeing their eyes light up when they understand the gospel and the Book of Mormon, when they begin to have a desire to know more and read more, when they begin to delight themselves in the fatness of the gospel; the love of Heavenly Father. I love the little daily miracles. We see so many.

Sorry for spilling all my worries and stress and negative thoughts out. Emails are supposed to be uplifting and positive. Please don’t worry about me. The Lord is helping me. I have people around the world praying for me. And I have the Meinhardt family. I got a little package with St Patrick’s pudding in it with a letter from Sis Meinhardt. I love that family!

Hermana Osorio is great. We have lots of fun and laugh a lot.

I love you. I’m grateful for your love and support. Give everyone; family, friends, elders, ward, stake; my love.
Hermana Stephenson

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